Despite that the potential for a few nightmare scenarios to occur – fur allergics, swarms of angry cat lovers, an equally angry swarm of EDL protestors, dog-based cat-fights… that sort of thing – the Shoreditch Unbound brainboxes and Old Spitalfields event boffins put together the paw-fect show that quite literally had every man and his dog in attendance.
The Darling Dog Company provided luxury pooch prizes for the winner of each canine category, which included Best Bitch in the Ditch, Dead Ringer and even Fugliest dog (which stands for funniest/ugliest. What did you think it meant?!).
Even at the risk of their dog being labelled “Fugliest” before the real meaning of the phrase had been revealed, people from various parts of The Big Smoke and beyond turned out to have their pets judged by our panelists. Dog owners paraded their four legged friends up and down the catwalk, and winners were elected from the swarm of ninja pugs, cashmere-clad hounds, tie-sporting furballs and even some generally misbehaving mutts. One adorable pooch had even been brought to Old Spitalfields in the hope of finding a home after being found abandoned during the London Riots this summer.
Winning Dogs:
Dead Ringer – Sinead
Dressed to the K-Nines – Miss Roxy Roo
Fugliest Dog – Spike
Shoreditch Showoff – Jemima
Paw-ditch – Ralph
Pawfection – Colin
Best Bitch in the Ditch – Lola
Dog of the Day – Miss Roxy Roo
Spitalfields had no time to rest after dishing out the doggy prizes though. Oh no. After giving the runway a bit off a sweep (just a few crumbs of Pedigree Chum, nothing serious), our Darling Dog bonanza was transformed into a showbiz stage that one might simply describe as some sort of “glitter museum”.
Yes, the Shoreditch Unbound Variety Show was on the way, hosted by not-so-low-key The Fabulous Russella – London’s biggest, lairiest and most glamourous drag act by a full country mile. Who, as it happens, can style out slipping on pancake batter like you’ve never seen before…
The Fabulous Russella was joined by a whole host of acts throughout the evening, most notably burlesque dancer Kiki Kaboom, who plays a whole collection of different characters – chav persona most definitely the prominent one for this particular performance – and got right down to a pair of “Badass” panties and nipple tassels before our very eyes (afterwards she said she’d noticed a little girl in the audience and had to pretend she wasn’t there. Oh dear…). A Prince tribute like no other also took to the stage in the form of last year’s “London’s Next Top Tranny” winner; Miss Fancy Chance, along with camp-as-chips and rather naughty comedian David Mills, some avant-garde… erm… avant-garde-ery from Ryan Styles and, our fantastically flexi-fabulous hula-hooping headliner Marawa The Amazing put on a spectacular performance in some mighty stilettos. How she didn’t break her neck we don’t know!
Comedy, cabaret and pancake mix. Apparently, all the ingredients you need for a killer variety show. Who’d have thought!
If you’re looking for events in London, then please look at the Old Spitalfields Market Calendar for all upcoming events